PT/Post-Op Appointment Goodbye

Hi there! I’m moving this weekend, in case you forgot.

I had my final PT appointment in this state, and my 2-month post-op appointment. Can you believe it has been two months since I had the surgery!? Because I can’t! 

Things went very well. After my dedication to anti-procrastination, I have seen great improvement. Every day I either do yoga, intensive pelvic floor exercises, or use the dilator, if not a combination of two, but I still leave my weekends open. I have adopted a new stretching exercise inspired by my PT appointments. I mentioned how my doctor had me tighten my muscles like a kegel, then relax, then bear down for a few seconds to get a better feel of when my muscles were relaxing. Well, I decided to do that, in sequence 15 times. It has worked wonders! The little muscles right at the entrance get tired after a few times, and my muscle control definitely increases for a while afterwards. Yesterday I was able to get the dilator in completely pain free! I’ve done this only two times, and my doctor mentioned a very noticeable increase of softness in my pelvic muscles. Yay!

My only issue I am facing right now is some pain and discomfort at the surgery site when I remove the dilator or try to insert a finger. I was very afraid this was a sign that the surgery wasn’t a complete success. I was given another q-tip test to make sure. Talk about uplifting moments. Anyone who has battled with vestibulitis can relate to the “bucking off the table” reactions to the stupid q-tips, but to my great amusement, it was like touching my arm. Well, if my arm had its skin stretched a few times over the past days. It was amazing. I felt normal again! 

The pain I am feeling with the dilators is probably a mix of the skin needing the stretch and the usage of water-based lubrication, and therefore was “prescribed” olive oil to replace it. I can still use my topical cream if I need it, but if you have learned anything from my previous posts, I’m more of an “au natural” person. Either way, I am showing signs of improvement, and I am in a good place for my hiatus while my insurance switches over with my new job.

I am feeling optimistic. Next week will be a struggle, but I can still keep up with my schedule. I’ll let you know how it goes! Let me know what you all have been doing, and what is/isn’t working for you. I will definitely keep up with the comments and emails, but I may not have much to post over the next couple weeks.

Updates soon(ish)!

Post-Op Appointment #2

Holy Crap. Holy freaking Crap. I think it worked, guys.

If you have been following my posts (which let’s be honest, you haven’t), today was my follow up appointment with the surgeon, and my goodness was I nervous. I was given a laser vestibulectomy, which is not the “mainstream” surgery to have, but is used to treat less serious cases and has the added benefits of no scar tissue and a faster and easier recovery. But because I had a considerably less common procedure — and the fact that it was sprung on me about 5 minutes before I actually had the surgery — I have been extremely worried about whether it had worked.

It didn’t hurt. I had a q-tip test again, and IT DIDN’T HURT.

For the curious minds, this is how the appointment went down:

For starters I was there for 2 hours, which sucked so bad, and made me so anxious having to sit and wait on that table, half naked, listening to silence and distant voices for almost 45 minutes. The stirrups give me a massive amount of anxiety, so I tend to get spasms similar to vaginismus, which is one of the reasons I was misdiagnosed for so long. But anyway, when the doctor finally did come in, it was straight down to business. He poked around with the tiny q-tip on about 5 or 6 spots and only one hurt. Apparently he did a method where he double poked, the first time I am likely to spasm from not expecting it, then the second it is a truer response. I asked him what spot did I say hurt and he said it was farther in on a muscle unrelated to the surgery site, and that when he poked it the second time I said it didn’t hurt.

To summarize as I see it, me being incredibly anxious, still sore from surgery, and having spasms, I still had no pain, which means I really, really might not have pain anymore. I am beside myself right now. I want to cry, and I am almost manic with excitement, but I know I need to stop because I still have a long road ahead of me before I will ever be considered “normal”.

After the q-tip test, the surgeon lectured me on all my “other issues”, by which he meant the spasms, the general fear of penetration and touch, and my “small vagina”. I’m 5’3″ and 120 lbs. Everything but my hair is small. Some women would love to have my overly tight, tiny vagina, but those women probably don’t have pain issues and well-endowed husbands. The grass is always greener?

The surgeon also went into more detail about the surgery itself. For instance, I learned that my surgery is called a “Laser Ablation of the Vestibular Gland”, which is fancy doctor for “burning the vestibule off”. He said that everything went very well, and he was able to kill off the areas that are sensitive, and because of the laser, it “looks very beautiful”. I didn’t really need to hear that from my male surgeon, but hey, it’s good to know my vagina is a work of freaking art. He cleared me for PT, which I start again in exactly one week, and told me I can begin using the dilators (which I won’t).

Other things to consider about my surgery are that 1) I have healed faster due to not having stitches, so healing in 4 weeks isn’t necessarily the norm, and 2) the skin will grow back, which does mean no scar tissue, but also leaves the chance for pain to return. The surgeon said if the pain does return, my only other option would be to go through the full surgery. I am going to stay positive, go to physical therapy, work as hard as possible, and hopefully stay pain free. But only time will tell.

If you want any more details, feel free to ask in the comments or send me a private email.

Updates Soon!